Table for One

I had a conversation the other day with a friend, Eunice, about the dating scene when you're over 50. Right after that conversation I came across a blog site talking about the very same thing. One of the questions asked on the blog was, "Where do you go to find a date." The picture painted suggested, at least in my mind, that if you're single, you are sitting at home alone "while your friends are out having fun" (stated in the article). Even worst, "you're going out with married friends as the third, fifth or ninth wheel." Doesn't that sound grim? I didn't realize being single was cause to be so despondent. The song that comes to mind is, Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen.

I won't pretend there may be challenges if you have the desire to date, at 50+ or any age for that matter. Some of the ways we use too meet men (in the black community) was to be introduced by friends or relatives, through professional affiliations or church. Many of those channels no longer exist and have been replaced with social networking/dating sites. According to this blog, those avenues didn't sound promising.

In the meantime, your life does not have to be on hold. In the year of 2013, you don't have to have a date to enjoy and live your life. You first must decide that your life is worth living. There are numerous things you can do, places you can go. What are your interests? Pick something and do it!

I often go out to dinner alone. Yes, its a lot more fun when you share a meal with friends but if no one is available, I don't believe I should deprive myself of the pleasure of a good meal. Here are a few tips on going to a restaurant solo:

If you're nervous about making a reservation for one, bring a book, preferably something light. Don't feel you have to keep your eyes glued to the pages the whole time. Dining alone is a great way to practice giving yourself some quality time.

If you're feeling adventurous and want to strike up a conversation, sit at the bar/counter or go to a place that has communal seating. My favorite breakfast place, Geraldine's, is always crowded on the weekends. I sat at the counter the last time I was there and had a great conversation with a very interesting man. In case you're wondering, no we're not dating.

I also turn my eating experiences into adventures to foreign lands. You can travel the world right in your own backyard. There's countless ethnic eateries in Seattle so anytime I have the urge to travel without purchasing a airline ticket, I pick one.

I also take myself to the movies. There's a small, quaint movie theater in my neighborhood that seats only 45 people and you can order wine from your seat. How fabulous is that!

The point is only you can create the life you want to live. I urge you to live it to the fullest. In doing so, when Mr. right-on-time comes your way, you won't look sad and desperate. Instead you'll have the glow of a self-fulfilled, self-assured woman. 

Together we thrive,

Jacqueline